Sentimental

I think i shouldnt have sms-ed her in the first place... hmm.. its making me think a whole load more.. and thats not good..

sometimes i just wonder why she doesnt have any initiative. its always me me me.. and yes i am tired of this.. hmrphs.. she never doesnt initiate smses and stuff.. why do some gals claim to have a liking towards u but yet let u do all the work.. and once ur done with tons of work.. in the end its just like its not enough !

abit of an emo post this is.. but yeah it cant be read by anyone... perhaps not yet... till i am ready to let these expired thoughts be published.. perhaps when all i felt doesnt matter in anymore.. sad to say it didnt matter right frm the start.. well well well..

met up with aaron today and yeah he is going to get my website down up and stuff.. needa do write up which i've been dragging myself to do.. i really needa concentrate hard man gabriel..

today was a fucked up day.. my dumb ass boot licker colleugue of mine approached me saying wat i spoke bad about him behind his back... and stuff.. way too childish.. and since he is being transfered to another dept.. i dun give a shit about it anymore... and like i have predicted.. he managed to brain wash a new guy in my dept.. who has no common sense and such.. truely and insult to diploma holders.. its a mean thing to say.. but wait till i tell u wat he has done.. even a 10year old wouldnt do such a thing....

he is being made a puppet by that boot licker.. soon he will realise.... i am not one bit intrested in staying is this dumb place of where i am working right now... i learn NOTHING for the past few months... its a back dated place.. the first day i walked into the damm office it was a step back into time.. into the 1980s... everything is slow paced and relax and chill and yeah.. i just cant do this kinda job.. i love to be on my toes.. communication with different people... meeting new people etc... i am secluded in this lame pit of shit ! i hate ranting on and on about my job.... i seriously hate it ! but its really killing my passion and soul.... its making me sick...

well well well well.......... hope the bloody HR is doing some work ! if i am not happy staying there.. i wun do a good job.. if they wanna fuck with me. i can fuck back with them.... i can choose not to answer my hp... they aint paying one cent anyway.. i have my rights and i do have a choice whether to answer ornot... so yeah..

this place is just restricting me man... i'm not new to the work force... so yah.. damm it..

But i do admit i'm damm short tempered.. it might be my downfall.. i might not be tactful when it comes to certain things.. knowing where i stand.. i hope to change.. if i can quit smoking which i have done for 11 years.. i seriously dun see why i cant change this flaw of mine.. learn how to communicate efficiently... thats the real cause of why people get angry.. cos its either they cant get others to understand.. or others cant understand them.. therefore they get pissed, either with themselves or with others...

Another flaw of mine is i look down on people sometimes.. its crazy to admit this flaw over the net where everyone can read it.. but yeah.. i dare do the un-do-able, i look down on people like that guy in my dept... i really should change that mindset of mine as well.. hrmphs... after reading some self improvement books.. i realised that everyone has a value :) make that person work your way... w/o coming across as snobbish or such... that boot licker has been doing a good job.. he has got alot of people playing his game.. thats something which i look up to... i still have lots to learn..

damm.. it feels kinda good now after writing all this crap.. cos i dun really have a special someone to share how i feel and such.. its indeed a nice place to ermm.. transform my thoughts into words and such.. :)

i feel happy..